My plan this year at Morzine was to learn how to monoski (not the “sit ski” that some people call a “monoski”).  Expecting at least some of the shops in the huge resort of Portes du Soleil to stock them, I didn’t search too hard in the UK before setting off to France; and it would have been impossible to get the bindings correctly fitted without my ski boots which are kept in a locker in Morzine.

The first store I visited, Intersport, disheartened me.  Not only did they not stock any, but when I asked whether anybody in Morzine might the answer was simple: personne!  Oh, but there might be someone in Les Gets.

Next I tried the shop which had sold me my monster size 14 ski boots, figuring that if they carried other “hens’ teeth” stock items they might deal in monoskis.  The man I asked made a belly-laugh and said something along the lines of, “you crazy person!”  I guess that labelled me as this season’s nutter.

Finally I tried Caribou Sport and the first person I mentioned it to (an Englishman working at the shop) found the concept of a monoski in Morzine to be highly amusing.  So amusing, in fact, that he shouted to his colleague, “hey, this guy’s looking for a monoski… how mad is that!?”  Actually, his French colleague asked whether I was interested in hiring or buying.  Buying, of course.

“Well,” he said as we spoke half in French and half in English, “I suggest you look up Duret on the Internet — we could order one in for you.”